Joke of the Day...

[Wes Tausend]

...

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.

One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida. They
go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he
says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for
my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300
for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other
guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you,
and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.


...

[BigGuy]

Two Trees



It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one:


Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The birch says he cannot tell.

Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you t ell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."




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