Jokes

[bliss]

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day, for some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and
cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't
even tell me so much as 'Thank you'."
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a
Father's Day gift."
"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother.
_____

When I was in the service... I partied like a sailor...(what the hell... I was a sailor). Later, when I was in college, I partied like I was a rock star...
Later still, I used to party like it was 1999...

Now I still like to party, but I also try to keep the expenses down... so I guess you could say, I party like a Secret Service agent.