Jokes

[392cobra]

Seems like a lot of good advice here.

Just be nice and put your tools and golf clubs away in a safe place when your finished with them.



ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND




It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Eric. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,
Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Anne to get a
full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for
the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I
noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf
club about the same time she gets home from work

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest
for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.
Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets
dinner on
the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating
out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub
when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished
eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several
hours
after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times
each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really
appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before
she goes
to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during
her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just
smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or
even
three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her
that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you
know
what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points..

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the grass. I
try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.. I tell her to fix herself a nice,
big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And,
as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me,
too. .

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Anne. I'm
not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men
will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better
than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism
of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it
was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each
other.















EDITOR'S NOTE:
Eric died suddenly on May 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report
says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II
golf
club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a
sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Anne was arrested and charged with
murder.

The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting
her defense that Eric, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on
his golf club.