Jokes

[bliss]

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.


I'll let you know
_____

A. I was thinking about how the status symbols of today is those
cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm
wearing my garage door opener.

B. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.

C. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
husbands on beer cans!

D. I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you
still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to
bounce it.

E. I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it
"Pumping Rust"

F. I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....that's when your
chest is falling into your drawers!

G. You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say,
"Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for
company!"

H. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny
spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps
toothpicks?

I. Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified
in case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good
Doctor!

J. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they
just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could
look for them while they delivered the mail?

K. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole
lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were
cramming for their finals.
_____

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xibtzwdXgfI"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xibtzwdXgfI[/ame]