Jokes

[cobra de capell]

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, “Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God thought for a moment and said, “Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.”

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, “Yes, it’s true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.”

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn’t get one either.



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A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he’s liable to break something, but the boy continues. ‘Johnny!’ Mom screams.’Knock it off.’ You’re going to break something. He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping centre.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she’s finished, she looks down and can’t believe what she’s seeing. She’s not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet!

She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he’ll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and hegets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.

Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere splashes on him, the walls, etc.

‘Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?’ she asks.

He says, ‘I’ve been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I’ve ever actually seen a fart!’