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Credit you give yourself isn't worth having.
You never can tell the depth of a well by the length of the handle on the pump. |
The Peter Principle: bosses rise to thier optimum level of incompetency.. and then they become VP's.
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Faster than greased lightning
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I have you used this gem on occasion;
"you've got about as much chance as a one-legged man has of winning an a$$ kicking contest":D |
From my Dad:
"I eat my peas with honey, I've done so all my life. It makes my peas taste funny, But it keeps them on my knife." And... "Wherever you go.....there you are." And... "Definition of "EXPERT" EX..as in HAS BEEN....SPERT..Squirt being a drip under pressure. Enough for now. Bob |
Thanks to the kids I was just reminded of this little beautie, I think that it fits here
"You are all wierdos" Sam the eagle from the Muppets. |
Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant"
is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist ". |
These are my 2 favorites:
1. No matter where you go, there you are!:LOL: 2. Pal, you are in charge of 'Jack Sh#t! And Jack left town!!:LOL: Dan |
You have two chances, slim and none, and slim is REALLY sick!
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$hit happens when you party naked
oww, now that's going to leave a mark extreme confidence is the result of not fully understand the issue |
HEY HERSH!!!! How yah doin.....Hope everything is going well..Miss Yah..Dave Shulak.P.S...Having Gastric Bypass surgery on the 27th...Going to get thin like you!!!!
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“If you’re drinking to forget, please pay in advance.”
~Posted Behind The Bar in Luckenbach,Texas |
I was in a deposition with an old texas lawyer and was answering his questions, but not in the way he wanted them answered. He got ticked off and looked over really reserved (like he wanted to kill me, but did not want to act out) and said "Son, we can try to nail jello to the wall all day if you want, but I suggest you do us all a favor and be more direct".
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If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.....
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I think this originated in Houston, but we applied it to the old 'dotcom' days as well...
"God grant me just one more boom...and I promise not to pi$$ this one away" |
You can get farther with a kind word and a gun, than you can with just a kind word.
- Al Capone We've done so much for so long with so little, now we can do anything with nothing. - Ken Kloster Harder than trying to pull a fat girl off a tricycle. A Nicholas KMP 517 |
EAT **** AND DIE!
This is my fav...I have it tatooed on my left caff with Daffy Duck ..flipping you off. Just my attitude reflecting reality. Bill |
and
Good Looks, Education and Money are so often wasted on "The Slow"....
So, all things in moderation,,, honey 'cause moderations' the first to go.. |
Construction Sayings
"You can't see it from my house"
"Beat to fit paint to match" "Unless the body part is completely severed keep working" |
You can't have a battle of wits with an unarmed oponent.
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