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"Bring It"
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If it's got tits or wheels you gonna have trouble with it!!!!
Cleaner version: If it lactates or rotates it will cause you problems |
What's your point, other than your head?
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Sayings
When all else fails read the instructions.
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always been my favorite..................
"A wise man speaks because he has something to say......A fool speaks because he has to say something" |
Beauty may be only skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone
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Better to remain silent, and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
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I will have you know that I am the foremost authority on my own opinion!
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If it was raining pussies, I'd get hit with a dick.
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Heres another
If it Flys, Fuc*s or floats, you are better off renting it! |
Don't wait for the future.
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Here is a good reply if someone says "Go F yourself"
I would....but when its hard I cant bend it and when its soft it dont reach! |
Don't make me stop this car!
You know you're getting old when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night. Never marry for money, its cheaper to borrow. -Charley Sample A Nicholas KMP 517 |
From my parents back when I was a kid;
"Sometimes life deals you a bad hand, but you still have to play with the cards that are dealt to you" "That is not fair! ..... Whoever told you life has to be fair, get over it" "What were you thinking? ..... Obviously I wasn't" "If your friend Johnny jumps into a lake, are you going to jump in too?" "What is for dinner? ..... Food!" "This ain't a restaurant" |
From my Boeing days:
B.O.H.I.C.A (Bend over here it comes again) From my Dad: One man's dream is another man's joke When the goin gets tough, the though get goin (after my mom took off) What's this "WE" $hit...you got a turd in your pocket? Our money...don't you mean MY money? (when I was a kid) Some of my favs: Beauty is a light switch away.... It's like a bunch of monkeys humping a football in here! I'm busier than a one-legged fiddler in an a$$ kickin contest! I know you want it now but nine women can't have a baby in a month! Silence is golden...shut up and get rich! If I want crap out of you I'll squeeze your head! |
Old
wort is over there pissing in the river trying to wash the bridge out. Man, he took off like a scalded dog.Son--don,t let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird ass.He,s like a little boy trying to piss straight up.His elevator don,t go all the way up, bless his heart. Can say all kinds of ugly stuff about a fellow and wind it up by saying bless his heart--that smooths over all badd stuff you said about him.I like this thread--laughed a plenty--seen some good ones. Helps on a rainy alabama day-cold too.Will-alabama
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Plato quote
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
-Plato |
An old friend has this saying about life...
Tri-weekly, then try weekly, then try weakly. |
"Life is like a box of chocolates....you never know what you might get"......Forrest Gump
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"One of the things I've realized about being a CEO is that somebody's always mad at you"...Bill Ford
"God grant me one more boom and I promise not to piss this one away!" |
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