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I once had a really smart attorney tell me:
"If you don't take care of your friends...you won't have any." You coming to the Kirkham Homecoming? David :):):) |
"He has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock"....
To describe someone "a few bricks short of a load"..... |
Quote:
I'm abso-motherloving-lutely going to show up. I just got the Big Chief to sign my permission slip tonight. I want to see and touch the Million Dollar Skunkworks Chassis before it gets hidden forever in some private collection somewhere. I'll email Joe to make sure he saves me a place. My plan is to drive my favorite open roadster. Mapquest says 712 miles from home to Tooele. As of now, I can't leave till 6/18 so I'll probably arrive in the AM on open track day. Will you sent a truck and trailer for me if I break down in the the Great Salt Desert?? %/ |
Quote:
David :):):) |
I'd keep my distance from that guy if I were you. Unbalanced.
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Here are a few I have heard and used.
I don’t climb that tree Crookeder than a pan of guts More nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers A man was described to me once as “ He would rather climb a 20 foot pole greased with sh*t to tell you a lie than to tell you the truth to your face.” Busier than a one armed paperhanger I’ve fu*ked a lot of ugly women and I’ve fu*ked a lot of fat women but I have never fu*ked a fat, ugly woman Piss up a rope Tighter than Mike Brass’s ass |
It's not...................
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog!
jdog |
GIGO - Garbage in, garbage out.
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Slicker than snot on a brass doorknob
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If you make yourself a sheep, the wolves will eat you.
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I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?
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Flatter than piss on a plate.
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That looks like it will hurt more than a chainsaw enema.
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Living well is the best revenge
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"Look! Either fish or cut bait."
:D |
Here is a few of my favorites -
Lucas lights motto: "Get home before dark." Military instructions: "If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; and if you can't pick it up, paint it." Dale Earndardt: "Anything but first sucks!" Stephen Covey: “Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.” Carroll Shelby: I'm not going to take this defeatist attitude and listen to all this crap any more from all these people who have nothing except doomsday to predict. |
A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it |
Henry Ford asked Helen Dodge if he could Packard his Pierce Arrow in her Nash...She said, "Chrysler sakes no this is Willy's night you'll have to Whippet ain't that a Buick?" DAVE
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Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra!
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From MarketWatch e-Newsletter:
Remember that hot 1973 Stealer's Wheel song marking the end of the Nixon era? "'Cause I don't think that I can take anymore. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you!" Still a perfect metaphor. Testifying before Congress: Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke on the left. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson on the right. The American public stuck in the middle |
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