That's gelding a lilly. (me) (now we'll find out who the farm boys are)

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. (Kissinger)

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.
She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1.
Don't change horses
until they stop running.

2.
Strike while the
bug is close.

3.
It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.

4.
Never underestimate the power of
termites.

5.
You can lead a horse to water but
How?

6.
Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.

7.
No news is
impossible.

8.
A miss is as good as a
Mr.

9.
You can't teach an old dog new
Math.

10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.

11.
Love all, trust
Me.

12.
The pen is mightier than the
pigs.

13.
An idle mind is
the best way to relax.

14.
Where there's smoke there's
pollution.

15.
Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.

16.
A penny saved is
not much.

17.
Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.

18.
Don't put off till tomorrow what
you put on to go to bed.

19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
You have to blow your nose.

20.
There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.

21.
Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.

22.
If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.

23.
You get out of something only what you

See in the picture on the box.

24.
When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.

25.
A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.


And the WINNER and last one!

26.
Better late than
Pregnant.

I am hotter than a mad Jesus chasing sinners.

I could ride this knife from hear to purgatory and never dent my a$$ with it.

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. NOT screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I didnt do it. You cant prove that I DID do it. Besides, NOBODY saw me do it.

" I have a plan... "
serenity now !!!!
" you, OUT of the gene pool !

"you're melting down dimes to plug a nickel"

"Your car couldn't pull a sick whore off a piss pot"

"Even an old turd will stink if you poke it enough" was my Texas father-in-law's way of telling me to just leave some things alone.
Bob

I believe it was Johann Bach that first said,...If its not baroque don't fix it...:cool:

When I was a kid, and trying to stay home from school, because "I wasn't feeling too good," my Mom would say "Don't worry, you'll get better and die of something else." Pretty funny! :LOL::LOL::eek:

No amount of alcohol can drink her pretty.

"OK son, I called you son not because you're bright like the sun. It's because your a sonuva*****"

A backhoe operator use to love saying that to us plumbers down in the ditch.:D

If I can Drink you pretty you can drink me tall. Said by a good friend in Gulfport Miss. years ago. RIP, Bob
John

Groucho Marx
 

The next time I see you.......remind me not to speak to you anymore, ok?

wish in one and and sh@t in the other and see which one fills up first. cheese and rice!!

You look like you're about to do something stupid. I'm in.

That is about as usefull as a screen door on a submarine.

That is as useless as tits on a boar hog.

If it don't go, crome it(could that be the reason that Jegs and Summit have so much crome stuff for Chebbys in thier catalogs?)

I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.

No muff too tuff, we dive em all(seen on a tee shirt)

My Dad always used to say, "Stupid things happen to Stupid people". Unfortunately it usually applied to me! And for the record, he said that years before Forrest Gump said "Stupid is as Stupid does".
:)

The probability of someone witnessing you doing a stupid act is directly proportional to how stupid the act is.

Money isn't always worth what it costs.