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Rog |
George was a bad loser. When he was cleaned out in a poker game for
very high stakes, he slapped his hand on the table and got up to leave. As he walked past, he couldn't resist insulting Max McTavish, the bald man who had cleaned him out. As George walked past, he ran a hand over Max's bald head and said sarcastically, "Your head feels just like my wife's arse." Max put a hand to his head and said, "By crikey, mate. You're right. It does!" Tim Mathieson is out on his morning jog when he sees a hooker. As he passes her, he yells "20 bucks!" "No way," she answers. The following morning Tim is jogging with Julia. As they pass the same hooker on the street she says, "See what you get for 20 bucks?". The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" "A Jack." |
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Is this all you guys down under have to do in the AM?? You have 21 guys in the middle of the AM looking at this forum and I can't figure out WHY:confused:. No gurly pic's:LOL: that I can find, mike "monster" Bay Area Cobra Club |
And..............well porn comes (no pun intended.......well maybe!) in all shapes sizes and types :LOL:
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Guy goes into a bar in Melbourne where there's a robot bartender!
The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Scotch." The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, " Scotch." Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about V8s, VB, VFL and the Storm. The guy leaves, but finds it even more interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, " Scotch," and the robot brings him his Scotch. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50." The robot leans in real close and says, "SO, . . . you people . . . still happy . . . with Gillard? :LOL::LOL::D:LOL::LOL: |
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks..... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot. She smiled happily and said.. "Oh, that's so lovely.. What about I, J, K?" He said, "I'm Just Kidding!" The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles. |
Well he's got to be fairly lucky ! It's been my experience that the longer you're married the less your Missus knows about where they( your nuts) actually are !!
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A man boarded a plane with his six kids.
After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?" "No Ma'am, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints." |
48 and feeling great
Whoooo.... Hoooo..... I survived another one
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It must have been some party Petrolhead.;)
Congratulations and Happy Birthday. |
When your past your "USE BY DATE" every day is a party
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How about setting up a seperate For Sale and Wanted sections what do you all think?
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Great breakfast today with the Vic Cobra Club
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August 2007 they gave me 6-12 months to live hence "use by date"
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Well now - they seem to have missed the mark.
Dang, go back and give em heck for not being accurate!! :LOL: It is good to see you have proved them wrong. :) Shoot for 2050, you and me both will be classics by then. :D :D :D |
They might of got Mark but not me, I used to phone up the specialist on my birthday and say "NA NANA NA NA" untill she stopped answering her phone on the 27th April **** stirrer arn't I
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Best of luck to you, and here's hoping you make 100 |
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