Joke of the Day...

[Hotfingrs]

Subject: IT'S TRUE, IT'S TRUE
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> I was on my way to the post office to pick up
> my case of free M&M's, (sent to me because I
> forwarded their e-mail to five other people,
> celebrating the fact that the year 2000
> is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend
> whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering
> from having been served a rat in his bucket of
> Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is predictable, since
> as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in
> Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government
> made them change their name to KFC. Anyway, one day
> this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
> bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all
> over and when he got out of the tub he realized that
> HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his
> mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use
> his phone because it was connected to his computer,
> and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy
> his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled "Join
> the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself
> was a computer programmer who was working on software
> to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers
> get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus
> cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's
> true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from
> BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free
> Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the
> e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to
> call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys,
> but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90,
> which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the
> phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into
> the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected
> needle around which was wrapped around a note that said,
> "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a
> few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little
> boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish
> is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and
> the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a
> nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two
> e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in
> the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to
> more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for
> 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it
> to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR
> SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive
> himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed
> another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful,
> he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as
> part of a gang initiation.
>
> Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail
> and you will receive 4 green m&ms, but if you don't the
> owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist
> friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get
> cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo,
> your wife will develop breast cancer from using the
> antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms,
> and the government will put a tax on your e-mails forever.
> I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
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