Jokes

[bliss]

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words "finished" and "complete".

In a recently held linguistic competition held in London, England attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man from Bachelors Adventure was the clear winner with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes.

Here is his answer which made him the winner of the contest. He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old Eldorado rum for his answer.

His final question was this: How to explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer: When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!
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In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capital letters.

For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.”

Is everybody clear on that?
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I can't wait until they can put wings on humans. Because if they could put wings on humans, they could put wings on pigs, and when they can put wings on pigs, lots of pretty girls from college owe me sex.