Jokes

[Don]

Source and Author Unknown:

Why, Why, Why

do we press harder on a remote control when
we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient
funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say
there are four billion stars, but check when you say the
paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death
by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his
chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word
"lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there
still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble
bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not
on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the
refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will
have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a
dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from
the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those
enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone
rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for
doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't
all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid
idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch
something that's falling off the table you always manage
to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as
warm as it was in summer when we complained about the
heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of
every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're
okay, then it's you. I've done my job and sent this email
to you , now it's up to you to send it on.