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A Call Girl's Tax Return
A woman walks into a Kalgoorlie accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address etc. And then asks,"What's your occupation?" "I'm a prostitute," she says. The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that." The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". "No, that still won't work... Try again." They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite poultry farmer." The accountant asks, "What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?" "Well, I raised a thousand Cocks last year." Tax man says “An elite poultry farmer it is then." |
Does she give a helping hand when you are "feeding the chooks"?
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I guess..................but only when she needs a happy ending !! LOL
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What about the pullets?
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Democracy and racism explained.
DEMOCRACY AND RACISM EXPLAINED.
An illegal Muslim immigrant kid asks his mother, "Mama, what's a Democracy and what is Racism?" "Well, son, Democracy is when Australian tax payers work every day so we can get all our benefits, you knows like free housing, free healthcare, more welfare payments than pensioners, & on & on, you knows, that's Democracy". "But mama, don't the Australian tax payers get pissed off about that?" "Sure they do, that's called Racism!" (Never more simply explained) |
Dan is THE MAN
What a great F1 race last night. It had everything and Dan came up trumps-fantastic result.,
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Yes that was an awesome race, funny how at the beginning Rosberg was walking away with it and then after that initial stint the Mercs really didn't have the usual legs over the Red Bulls and Ferrari (Alonso anyway, what's up with Kimi anyway?)
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It certainly was a fantastic race. For a track that's not known for overtaking it had me on the edge of the couch!
Dan drove a great race and when they pitted him for the last time I wasn't sure he could get back to the front, but some very confident driving and fresh rubber was the difference. The team must be stoked with how he has settled into the team and the maturity shown that world champions don't intimidate him - either in his own team - or overtaking Alonso or Hamilton in the closing stages. Kimi blew his chance not going out for a second time in Q1 and not making it through. A couple of highlights, the start in the wet always makes it interesting, the change to slicks on a still damp track showed some sideways action, Perez into the wall and then Vettel's spin in the same spot and save. Alonso and Hamilton's drives were great (I love Hamilton's response to the team telling him to let Nico through, "when he's close enough I'll let him through"), but the night belonged to Dan with a truly inspiring drive. |
how lucky was Vettel with that 360....a real undies moment.
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And how good was Alonzo keeping the Ferrari in the hunt with dead tyres?
Apart from Danny's storming finish, the highlight for me was the drama from the Mercedes pits. There was no way Hamilton was ever going to let Nico through. The radio transmissions between the pits and both drivers fairly crackled with tension. Do you reckon Vettel had much to do with keeping his car off the wall? Or was that pure luck? The most intriguing race of the year so far... |
My bet is luck, it was a pretty quick spin of the passenger variety I reckon.
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My wife saw this on Facebook, I thought it was very funny...
http://i839.photobucket.com/albums/z...psab922e53.jpg |
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They didn't disclose his performance bonus. 2 wins (the only ones outside Mercedes) and multiple podiums will add up quick!
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it was a great race to watch. Daniel Ricardo is so good on his tyres compare to the other drivers that's how he wins races. As for Poor Alonso it just goes to show no matter how good of the driver you are you need a good car to win races. If he was in the Mercedes know one would catch him.
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Assume you are referring to SPA? It was awesome to watch! Rosberg and Hamilton are a pair of twits. Spoiled brats that need a good kick up the ass.
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Check This Out
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=625747924150290
This will get your heart racing just before the nationals Cheers Brad |
One Perth guy who can drive..love it..:3DSMILE:
As he is earning just 2% of what Schumacher and others were earning I hope his management can negotiate a better contract next round..:LOL: |
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