Jokes

[bliss]

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said ‘nothing’.

The reason I said that instead of saying ‘just thinking’ is because she would have said ‘about what’.

At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics that would have lead to other questions.

Finally I thought about an age-old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.”

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”

I rest my case. It’s time for another beer.
_____

Top 20 Reasons WHY FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX...

#20 - No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still Fish.

#19 - A limp rod is still useful while Fishing.

#18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.

#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with
you once in a while.

#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.

#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing,
you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you
become famous.

#14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you Fished
with long ago.

#13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.

#12 - When you see a really good Fishing person, you don't have to
feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.

#11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't
object if you Fish with someone else.

#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish
by yourself.

#9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if
they are really an undercover cop.

#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood
to buy Fishing stuff.

#7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office,
tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without
getting sued for harassment.

#6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.

#5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to
subscribe to the Playboy channel.

#4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest
of your life.

#3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses
interest in it.

#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to
enjoy your favorite activity.

#1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just
Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?"