Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

What's the difference between the Government and the Mafia?
One of them is organized.
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A man is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be
when he grows up?"
"Yes, the dummy wants to be a garbage collector," the man replies.

To which his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have for a
career..."
"Yes, I suppose, but he thinks garbage collectors only work on
Tuesdays!"
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A guy's life can be described as a train on a railway track.
When they are 20, Every station they want to stop.
When they are 30, They can only stop at one station.
When they are 40, They want to stop but they are not allowed to stop.
When they are 50, They want to stop but they cannot stop.
When they are 60, Forget about stopping, they can't even start
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Letter From Your Computer
You look really sexy in that...thing you've got on tonight. I like the
way your eyes are always open when you read your E-Mail. When you type,
it reminds me of a concert pianist tinkling on her keys. You really
know how to push the right buttons to turn me on. If I wasn't a
computer, I'd show you what "Hard Drive" really means! But Alas, I'm
only a bundle of circuits and wires, obeying your every command. Yes
mistress! I'll balance your checkbook. Yes mistress! I'll run your
silly little program. Don't get me wrong...I like the Master/Slave
thing, but maybe just once in a while you could show some compassion?
Maybe instead of just ramming the diskette in, you could slide it in
slowly, maybe even blow in the slot first. And maybe instead of just
using me and turning me off when you're through, we could talk for a
while afterwards? I know other computers have hurt you in the past. But
I'm different! I may be a little slow, but I've got a big mouse! So
come on baby, don't fight it. You know you want it.
I'll just turn off the lights and... and... what?Ok...well, will you at
least think about it?

I'm so embarrassed,

Your Computer.
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A man with a speech impedement walks into a hardware store and says,"Do you have any ****ets?'" The clerk says, "Any what?" Again he says any
****ets. She replies,
"You mean buckets?" He says, "Yes." She shows him where they are, he buys his buckets and leaves.
Next he goes to the drug store and says, "Do you have any bum?"
The clerk says, "Any what?" He again says, "Any bum."
She replies, "You mean gum?" He says, "Yes." She shows him where the gum is, he buys his gum and leaves.
Next he goes to the pet shop, walks up the the clerk and asks, "Do you have any cock and spankets?" She says, "Any what?" He again says, "Cock and
spankets."
She says, "You mean Cocker Spaniel's?" He says, "Yes." She shows him where they are, he buys one and walks out.
He is walking his dog through the park, when suddenly the dog gets lose. He runs up to a man sitting on a bench and says,
"Will you hold my bum and ****et, while I go get my cock and spanket."
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