The POOL ROOM

[letsboogie351]

[Rog246]

That is Soooooo true !

[Rog246]

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said,

'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had
All the wine in the world, I'd pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down...

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
With a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song,
Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

Smile - life is too short not to!!

[letsboogie351]

“For better digestion I drink beer,
in the case of appetite loss I drink white wine,
in the case of low blood pressure I drink red wine,
in the case of high blood pressure I drink Scotch,
and when I have a cold, I drink Schnapps.”

“So when do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!

[Rog246]

Missing Wife



Distraught husband filing a report on his missing wife:

Husband: I lost my wife (Misty), she went shopping & still has not reached

home yet.

Inspector: What is her height?

Husband: I never noticed.

Inspector: Slim or healthy?

Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.

Inspector: Color of eyes?

Husband: Never noticed.

Inspector: Color of hair ?

Husband: Changes according to the season.

Jnspector: What was she wearing?

Husband: Pant suit or dress... I don't remember exactly.

Inspector: Was she going in a car?

Husband: yes.

Inspector: tell me the number, name & colour of the car?

Husband: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333

horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission

with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting

diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front

left door... and then the husband started crying.

Inspector: Don't worry sir, we will find your car.

[letsboogie351]

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond
bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more
closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed
her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of
a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect
of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help
you today?

Blushing and, uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman
somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of
this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going
to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price!"

[Rog246]

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!!

[letsboogie351]

Sex & Calories

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.

Who the hell runs 8 miles in 15 seconds?

[Rog246]

15 Seconds !??
Was going to say ' who lasts 15 seconds ?' but that just might be a little too much information !

[Rog246]

What a great win to Young Dan the Man.
Not just a good win but what a thrilling & action packed race-great milestone in his career.

[letsboogie351]

It was a great win, and it is good to see that he is not intimidated by anyone. Least of all his team mate! Currently third in the drivers championship. A few more podiums during the rest of the season should cement him as future championship contender.

[jcraigau]

Awesome win for the Duncraig boy (I grew up in Duncraig, so I'm claiming him!)

[Baz]

Just arrived home from the Monaco Grand Prix. On the way over, spent 3 days at Raffles Hotel in Dubai and caught up for a few beers with 'Krait', an Aussie member of this forum now living and employed in Dubai. The flew to Nice where we had a helicopter transfer to Monaco. Stayed 4 nights at the Fairmont Hotel overlooking the hairpin. Awesome. The had a cruise on the Azamara Quest along the French Riviera. Won the lottery there. Upgraded from a V2 balcony stateroom to the Owner's Suite with butler and open bar.

Monaco was really expensive. Try 45 euro for a hamburger at the Fairmont. That;'s $A66 and was the cheapest meal on the menu in Saphir 24 Restaurant.

The cars were unreal. Forget the F1 race cars. Just driving around the streets were Bugatti Veyrons, F70 Ferrari's, 6x6 AMG Mercedes SUV's, Maseratis, Astons and Rollers. Two cars that really blew me apart were a 1935 Auburn Boattail 815 Speedster and the best of all was a 1929 Isotta Fraschini Tipo 8A Transformable which was parked outside the Monte Carlo Casino. Strange thing is, I didn't see one Cobra.

I will post some pics later if anyone is interested.


Baz

[petrolhead]

Bring it on

[Jamo]

On the bucket list...please post the pics.

[Baz]

rl=http://www.clubcobra.com/photopost/showpho[uto.php/photo/83997][/url]































[img]http://www.clubcobra.com/photopost/data/500
/Copy_of_1955_Mercedes_300_SL_Gullwing.jpg[/img]

[Baz]

Our Signature room at Raffles Dubai


World's tallest structure - Burj Khalifa Dubai


View from our balcony in Fairmont Hotel Monte Carlo


View from grandstand on the roof of the Fairmont Hotel at the Hairpin



The Indian Empress - 95 metres long.


1929 Isotta Fraschini Tipo 8A Transformable with coachwork by Castagna








Ferrari F70 LaFerrari

rl=http://www.clubcobra.com/photopost/showpho[uto.php/photo/83997][/url]
A Ferrari FF and an Enzo


Maserati Ghibli


Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4




Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe


A Russian Marussia


A Renalt Tizy Electric Mini Car


Mercedes SLS AMG Gullwing 6.2 litre coupe


Mercedes G63 AMG 6x6 SUV


Porsche Panamera Twin Turbo

[img]http:

//www.clubcobra.com/photopost/data/500/p1130296.jpg[/img]


Bugatti Veyron




BMW X5 with a great sports pack


Audi R8 V10


Aston Martin Vantage


Our upgraded Owner's Suite on Cruise Ship Azamara Quest.


Our personal butler and suite attendant which came with the upgrade

[Baz]

The monarch of Monaco, Prince Albert has a massive car collection of over 100 vehicles including at least a dozen F1 cars. These two cars in his collection gained my attention as they were both brand new with no miles on the clock. One is a 1955 300SL Mercedes Gullwing Coupe and the other a beautiful Austin Healey 100/6.

[Rog246]

Of all the cars there (which are all desirable in their own way)
I'd take the Issota ! What a great car

[Baz]

Originally Posted by Rog246

Of all the cars there (which are all desirable in their own way)
I'd take the Issota ! What a great car

I'm with you Rog.

Baz