The POOL ROOM

[Rog246]

Not far from the truth!

A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."

"Have you ever worked for the public service before?"

"Yes, I was in the army." he says, "I was in Iraq for two tours."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points towards employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A mine exploded near me when I was there and I lost both of my testicles".

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough
points for me to take you on right away.Our normal
hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm.......but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am - and carry on starting at 10.00am every day."

The bloke is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm,
why don't you want me here until 10.00am?
I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know"

"What you have to understand is that this is a council job," the
interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around
drinking coffee and scratching our bollocks. There's not much point in you coming early is there."

[Rog246]

A black guy and Murphy go into a pastry shop. The black guy whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't even notice. The black guy says to Murphy, "You see how clever we are? You Paddies can never beat that!"

Murphy says to the black guy, "Watch dis, any Paddy is smarter din you, and I'll prove it to ya."

He says to the baker, "Gimme a cookie, I'll show ya a magic trick!" The baker gives him the cookie, which he promptly eats. Then he says to the baker, "Gimme anudder cookie for me magic trick." The baker is getting suspicious, but he gives it to him. He eats this one too.

Then he says again, "Gimme one more cookie..." The baker is getting angry now, but gives him one anyway. He eats this one too. Now the baker is really mad, and he yells, "OK ... so where is your famous magic trick?"

Murphy says .... " Now look in the black guy's pocket!"

[Rog246]

Fighter Pilot Jimmy

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Jimmy says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most
expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment
in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the
while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Jimmy,
decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

"And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Jimmy ’s whore."

[Rog246]

POSSIBLY THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR

A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money."

But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect). "Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.

Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room.

The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.


"Come in and close the door" the man said.

She did.

He then said, "Now get on your knees."

She did.

"Now take down my zipper."

She did.

"Now go ahead ... Take it out...." He said.

She reached in a nd grabbed it with both hands.

Then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered..

"Well .... Go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, ....

...tentatively said ....

"Hello. Mum, can you hear me?"

[Rog246]

Had lunch with a large SA policeman yesterday in Adelaide at the famous Port Power footy club, but he made no mention of this incident during his Easter patrols???


Two policemen call the station on the radio.



"Hello. Is that the Sarge?"



"Yes?"



"We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping

on the floor she had just mopped clean."



"Have you arrested the woman?"



"No sir. The floor is still wet."