Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

A guy walks into a bar and, and notices that behind the bartender there is a big gigantic jar full of 20-dollar bills. So the
guy asks the
bartender about it.

Guy: Hey bartender what's all the money for?

Bartender: Well mister, we have a little contest going on.

Guy: Oh yea, what is it?

Bartender: Well, for 20 dollars, u have to go down to the end of the bar and knock that big fellow there out in one punch.

The guy takes a look down at the end of the bar and sees a big, muscular looking guy.

Guy: Well, I think I could take him.

Bartender: Hold on there partner, there's more. You see that door over there behind you?

Guy: Yea I see it.

Bartender: Well I got a pit-bull in there with a rotten tooth and u got to yank it out.

The guy thinks for a little while and replies Guy: You know what I'm not of afraid of any dog I could do that.

Bartender: Wait a second there partner; there is one more task.

Guy: Then hurry up and tell me!

Bartender: Why do you see that door to the right of the pit-bull?

Guy: Yea Bartender: Why I got my 70-year-old grandma in there and you got to make love to her.

Guy: I'M OUTTA THIS BET!

But after a couple of hours of drinking at the bar, the guy gets piss drunk. He goes over to the bartender and slaps 20 bucks on
the
table goes to the end of the bar and WHAM, knocks the big guy out in one punch. Then the guy slowly walks to the door with the
pit-bull...he opens the door and steps in...all of a sudden its quite and all the bartender can hear is the growling and barking
of an angry
dog. The bartender listens closer and can hear things falling and breaking inside the room. Then after awhile the bartender
hears the
dog whimpering in fear and pain. Then the door opens...

The guy slowly crawls out of the room...his clothes are torn and his leg and arms are all bloody...the guy slowly gets up and
looks at the
bartender:













A magician worked on a cruise ship. There was a different audience each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over
again.

One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he
understood, the parrot started shouting in the middle of the show:

"Look, it's not the same hat!", "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was after all, the captain's parrot.


Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the
parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another.


Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back:
"OK, I give up. Where's the f*ckin' ship?"












Three rugby fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot
sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and
discovered a nude female,dead drunk.

Out of respect and propriety, the Springbok fan took off his cap and
placed it over her right breast. The All Black fan took of his cap and
placed it over her left breast. Following their lead the Australian fan
took off his cap and placed it over her crutch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived he conducted his
inspection. First, he lifted up the Springbok cap, replaced it, and wrote
down some notes. Next he lifted the All Black cap replaced it, and wrote
down some notes. The officer then lifted the Australian cap, replaced it
then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time and replaced it
one last time.

The Australian fan was getting upset and finally asked "What are you, a
pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking?"

"Well," said the officer "I am simply surprised. Normally when I look
under an Australian hat I find an asshole."