Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous?

9) Is lighter fluid flammable?

8) What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff?

7) Are knives sharp?

6) Can sharks hurt a human?

5) What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium?

4) Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall?

3) Can I eat broken glass and live?

2) Can dogs talk?

1) Are blondes really dumb?










AS GOOD AS PUTTING IT IN....

A married man goes to confessional and
tells the priest, "I had an affair with
a woman... almost."
The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?"

The man says, "Well, we got undressed and
rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest replies, "Rubbing together is
the same as putting it in. You're not to
go near that woman again. Now say five
Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."

The man leaves confessional, says his
prayers, then walks over to the poor box.
He pauses for a moment and starts to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, quickly
runs over and says, "I saw that! You didn't
put any money in the poor box!"

The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed
up against it, and you said it was the same
as putting it in!"











A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She
gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and
asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

Better to be safe than...................Punch a 5th grader

Strike while the .........................Bug is close

It's always darkest before............ Daylight Savings Time

Never underestimate the power of..........Termites

You can lead a horse to water but.........how?

Don't bite the hand that................. looks dirty

No news is................................impossible

A miss is as good as a....................Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new............math

If you lie down with dogs, you'll.........stink in the morning

Love all, trust...........................me

The pen is mightier than the..............pigs
*

An idle mind is...........................The best way to relax

Where there's smoke there's...............pollution

Happy the bride who.......................gets all the presents

A penny saved is..........................not much

Two's company, three's....................the Musketeers

Don't put off till tomorrow what.....you put on to go to bed

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and.......you have
to blow your nose

None are so blind as......................Helen Keller

Children should be seen and not...........spanked or grounded

If at first you don't succeed.............get new batteries

You get out of something what you...see pictured on the box

When the blind leadeth the blind..........get out of the way

Better late than..........................pregnant