Jokes

[tcrist]

Originally Posted by kevins2

I agree. His profile indicates last activity on July 27, the day this happened. Not sure if that means he hasn't posted since then or hasn't even logged in since then. Bliss, if you're out there, bring back the jokes!

I believe that just indicates that he has not logged on since then. That does not mean that he has not been here and read posts. You can get on here and read posts without logging in.

If he is just reading posts, I would like to say, come on back.

[computerworks]

Originally Posted by CobraEd

Are you kidding me?!.

The issue was not with the post, but the attitude that followed.

Moderation cannot be questioned..that is a ground rule here and on most forums.

Play by the rules or play elsewhere. It is really simple.

Thanks

[Al G]

Originally Posted by CobraEd

I saw the admonishment for posting a video of the spanish train crash (which was shown on prime time network news every three minutes for two straight weeks) The whole complaint was stupid and self serving. I hope that Bliss rises above it and brings back the jokes. I always looked forward to reading them.


.

I guess I'm the one who made the complaint. It wasn't stupid and self serving and I won't apologize for it. I found the joke in extremely poor test and said so. Using a tragic event as the punchline for a joke is just wrong, no matter what his intent was. My comment had nothing to do with the fact that the video had been shown numerous times on the television. It was the context in which it was shown here that was wrong.

I also wish Bliss would come back. I enjoyed most of his jokes and ignored those that I didn't. This one crossed the line and I expressed my opinion.

As Ron said, he wasn't suspended because of joke. Someone else said at the time he needs to recognize he made a mistake and move on. He chose to respond differently.

[392cobra]

Originally Posted by tcrist

The issue was that he posted a video about the bad "high speed train" that wrecked a while back and posted that (more or less) that is what could be comming to California.
While I am sure that his post was not intended to make a joke of the train wreck that actually killed quite a number or people, it was more of a joke on what California was / is about to have running through the central valley (they are trying to get a high speed rail project to run through the central valley and farther). People that do not live in the central valley probably did not "get it".

With Bliss being a Texan I doubt his point was about a worthless train running thru a Ca. valley. I'd bet it was about the train that is CA coming around it's final bend and having a major train wreck. Gov. Brown,et al.

Bliss,always enjoyed your jokes. Do it again.

[CobraEd]

Without the constant stream of jokes from Bliss to look forward to, my life has become hollow and empty. I am only shell of my former self. Without the jokes, all we have to look forward to is outages and database errors! Oh The Humanity!


.

[Joe Wicked]

Probably not up to par but...

What does a nosy pepper do?


It gets Jalapeno business.

[CobraEd]

A man and his nine year old daughter were driving along on the interstate in their pickup truck. In front of them, driving in their car was a husband and wife having a huge fight about the mans constant infidelity.

The wife becomes so enraged that she reaches over and cuts off her husbands penis and throws it out the window. It flies through the air and lands on the windshield of the pickup truck with the man and his daughter inside. It sticks on the windshield for a moment and then flies off.

The girl looks at her father and says "daddy, what was that?" The man, not wanting to say anything wrong to his little nine year old daughter says "oh honey, that was just a bug"

The girl has a perplexed look on her face and after a moment or two of thinking says "Wow!!! . . . that bug had a huge dick!!!!"



.

[Gordon Claunch]

TChrist, Thats exactly how I saw it being from the Central Valley in California, there is a Train Wreck heading our way that will cost billions, thats just the way I saw it. I miss the jokes also, God I hate politcal correctness!!

[bliss]

Originally Posted by Gordon Claunch

TChrist, Thats exactly how I saw it being from the Central Valley in California, there is a Train Wreck heading our way that will cost billions, thats just the way I saw it. I miss the jokes also, God I hate politcal correctness!!

I like the way to think, Gordon.

You know, gathering stuff that's actually at least potentially humorous is not a easy task each day - although I continue to do it and post to other sites (simply because I need to laugh each day). This site has become very restrictive for some reason - that's fine but it's not a good thing when 'humor' is involved. It's not like it was adult humor, just a little take on what we, in CA, may face down the road, financially and perhaps even literally if this disaster gets built.

Anyway, I ran across the following - thought about this site for some more than passingly strange reason...
_____

Attempting to Set A New Password:


Website: Sorry that password has expired - you must register a new one.

User: Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?

Website: No, but your password has expired - you must get a new one.

User: Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty good?

Website: Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire
every 30 days.

User: Can I use the old one and just re-register it?

Website: No, you must get a new one.

User: I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember.

Website: Sorry, you must get a new one.

User: OK, roses

Website: Sorry you must use more letters.

User: OK, pretty roses

Website: No good, you must use at least one number.

User: OK, 1 pretty rose

Website: Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.

User: OK, 1prettyrose

Website: Sorry, you must use additional letters.

User: OK, 1f'ckingprettyrose

Website: Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter.

User: OK, 1F'CKINGprettyrose

Website: Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.

User: OK, 1F'ckingprettyrose

Website: Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters.

User: OK, 1F'CKINGprettyroseshovedupyour@ssifyoudon'tgivemea ccessrightf'ckingnow

Website: Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used.

[FWB]

oh...nevermind........tried to post but the site gremlins kept resetting server bullcrap...but it let me post this....

[computerworks]

Originally Posted by bliss

- thought about this site for some more than passingly strange reason...

Really? Let's get something straight right now...

You weren't banned for your humor. You were banned for your out-of-line confrontation with a moderator.

Do it again..and it will happen again.

If you think of this site with disdain...then take a hike on your own.

Thanks
Ron
ClubCobra Moderator

[bliss]

Originally Posted by computerworks

Really? Let's get something straight right now...

You weren't banned for your humor. You were banned for your out-of-line confrontation with a moderator.

Do it again..and it will happen again.

If you think of this site with disdain...then take a hike on your own.

Thanks
Ron
ClubCobra Moderator

This site is fine, it's you.

[computerworks]

Originally Posted by bliss

This site is fine, it's you.

OK, that's clear.

Abide by the rules and accept moderation when applied....and all will be fine.

[FWB]

just remember there is nothing correct in politics......

[danc30]

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom was real worried, and when she picked him up from school at the end of the day, she anxiously asked him how his day went.

'Well, I made the top of the class in Math, I made a touchdown in football, and I had sex with the teacher.'

'What! How dare you! Get into your room and wait till your father gets home!'

Little DJ goes to his room, and when his father comes home, DJ's mom tells his father, 'I'm absolutely disgusted with DJ. He said he came top of the class in Math, made a touchdown in football, and had sex with the teacher!'

'That's my boy' thinks his Dad.

So he goes upstairs to talk to DJ. 'Don't worry about your Mom. She's a bit upset, but it sounds to me like you had an awesome day at school. In fact, I'm so pleased, you know that bicycle I said I was going to buy you for Christmas, I think I'll get it for you this weekend.'

'Oh no, Dad, don't. I don't think I'll be able to sit down for a while.'

[tcrist]

Welcome back!!!!

[SMOKNAC]

Welcome BACK!!

[SMOKNAC]

A very tired nurse walks into a Bank of the Ozarks branch on Hwy 71, right here in Bentonville, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:
'Well, that's great … that's just great … some asshole's got my pen!'

[SMOKNAC]

Just one of those days, I guess…
Great Coffee Commercial, destined to become a classic!!!

Http://www.youtube.com/embed/4BMUC4Yb4z4?rel=0

[SMOKNAC]

PBS recently aired a documentary called "Smarter Brains", the premise being that each of the last two generations had a 25 point increase in average IQ on standardized tests, attributable in large part to interacting with computers, smart phones and other technological advances. So, people are smarter now?

In my day...

Irons didn't have a warning label saying "Do not iron clothes while wearing them." Especially underwear!

Toilet bowl cleaner didn't have a warning label saying "Do not drink from toilet." Do they think my dog reads labels?

The fuel tank cap didn't have a warning label saying "Do not use a lighted match or candle to check fuel level."

Chain saws didn't have a warning label saying "Do not stop chain with hands or genitals." Natural selection delayed...

Dremel rotary tools didn't have a warning label saying "Do not use to drill teeth." It hurts just thinking about it!

Hair dryers didn't have a warning label saying "Intended to dry hair on head only" and "Do not use while asleep."

Curling irons didn't have a warning label saying "Do not use on eyelashes." Ouch!

Air tight plastic storage boxes didn't have a warning label saying "Not for storage of animals or small children."

Electric letter openers didn't have a warning label saying "Sharp blades, safety goggles recommended."

A prescription from the vet for your dog didn't have a warning label saying "Use care when operating vehicles or machinery."

Frozen entrees didn't have a warning label saying "Product will be hot after heating."

A 'Superman' costume didn't have a warning label saying "Wearing this garment will NOT enable wearer to fly."

A sleep aid didn't have a warning label saying "WARNING: May cause drowsiness." One would hope...

A carton of eggs didn't have a warning label saying "Caution: this product may contain eggs."

A thermometer didn't have a warning label saying "If used rectally, do not then use orally."

Pepper spray didn't have a warning label saying "May cause irritation of the eyes." Isn't that the point?

Fireplace logs didn't have a warning label saying "WARNING: Risk of fire." Isn't fire what you wanted in the fireplace?

Sunshields for your windshield didn't have a warning label saying "Do not drive with sunshield in place."

Standardized IQ tests are fine for pseudo-intellectuals, but I think the common sense standard is a more accurate measure.