Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

> =============
>
> Updated accounting terms that they're teaching NOW in business schools:
>
> EBITDA: earnings before I tricked damn auditor.
>
> EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering.
>
> CEO: chief embezzlement officer.
>
> CFO: corporate fraud officer.
>
> NAV: normal Anderson valuation.
>
> FRS: fantasy reporting standards.
>
> P/E: parole entitlement.
>
> EPS: eventual prison sentence.
>
> BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
> himself for a financial genius.
>
> BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the
> wife gets no jewelery, and the husband gets no sex.
>
> MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
>
> VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
>
> P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
> keeps crashing.
>
> BROKER - What my broker has made me.
>
> "BUY, BUY" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step
off
> the plane and the disappearance of your money.
>
> STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.
>
> STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
>
> STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
> between themselves.
>
> FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs
to
> the 7-Eleven for toilet paper and cigarettes.
>
> MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.
>
> CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.
>
> WINDOWS 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought
> Yahoo @ $240 per share.
>
> YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
> share.
>
> INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a
> nuthouse.
>
> PROFIT - Religious guy who talks to God
>