Joke of the Day...

[Hotfingrs]

Subject: FW: To Women Everywhere, from a Man who has Had Enough




> TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH
>
> · Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up,
> you need it down. You don't hear us *****ing about you leaving it down.
>
> · If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
> act like soap opera guys.
>
> · If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
> answer.
>
> · Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
> short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that
> married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
>
> · Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
> find the perfect present yet again!
>
> · If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
> don't want to hear.
>
> · Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what
> we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
> navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
>
> · Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
>
> · Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that
> way.
>
> · When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
>
> · You have enough clothes.
>
> · Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't
> work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say
> it!
>
> · We don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the
> calendar.
>
> · Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
>
> · Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any
> good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
> dress?
>
> · Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
> · Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
> we do.
>
> · Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> · A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
> · Check your oil.
>
> · It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
>
> · Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All
> comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> · If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> · Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
>
> · Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> · ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
>
> · If it itches, it will be scratched.
>
> · Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>
> · If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
> wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
>
>